My friend who follows my blog told me last night that he thought my previous post came across too harsh so I’m writing again to clarify my meaning.
What my post was meant to convey was the idea that it’s hard to be so embarrassed by someone in your life who cannot control all of their actions. My example of my brother throwing a fit about Christmas dinner was meant to show how he cannot express himself emotionally and therefore acts out–in most cases concerning food. My brother was exhausted and up way past when he usually goes to bed. Instead of saying he was tired and ready to leave to go home, he lashed out and started yelling about taking food home. This whole scene is really hard for me to describe to someone who hasn’t witnessed it before. Now obviously my aunt and uncle know my brother and love him and know why he was doing what he was doing but it would’ve been hard to explain to someone else.
I guess I just feel like I’m not any different than anyone else–I get embarrassed by my brother because of the things he does. After having yet another fight about something as simple as a banana I can say that not everyone really understands my brother. I guess all I really meant is that no one can really be comfortable around my brother and I understand why. But there are times when I’m not comfortable or I’m embarrassed by my brother–I’m not any different than anyone else. There are times when it feels as though society tells me that I am supposed to be different though. I’m not supposed to be embarrassed or uncomfortable. I want to know where I got this magical ability to not be embarrassed? Why can others feel strange around the mentally challenged but I can’t? Because he’s my brother that’s why.
We all face challenges that we have to overcome. It is not often that my brother embarrasses me but it does happen. Sometimes it’s easy to just shrug it off and tell myself I have to get over it and I do. It gets easier and I can only hope that this little excerpt makes more sense in the wake of the last.
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January 13, 2010 at 10:48 am
Debbi Henry
I found your blog today and had to write something to you. Thank you so much for doing this, and being so honest and writing from your heart. I have been wanting to find something like this to read for a long time.
I have two children, a neuro typical son, and a special needs daughter. I try so hard to give my son all that I can, and I worry that I am not doing enough for him. Lately, my son has been embarrassed by his sister, and I have been struggling with how to handle that.
Again, thank you for sharing your feelings!
Debbi